Two Minutes will tell the tale...

Tell the Tale of if I'm going to have to send this video of this pervert driver with his hand on a handicapped ladies ass to every motherfucking news station in the country, or if I made my connection and just have King County Metro cut his balls off.... tick tock.. tick tock.. and.... lucky bastard! I'm getting home early tonight... and will have long forgotten about Simple Bill after I get happy hour rolling... And This Brings Another Days Commute to a close, bye bye...

Getting ready to do some Cardio

Going to have to run for next bus as Simple Bill is playing grab-ass with a poor women with down syndrome at the moment, well I got this creeps bus no. And some video of his sorry act, time to E-mail Metro Command, time to run.....

Up in the traffic sphincter that is Shoreline....

I find that only 2 lanes of 99 are open due to some buttfucks idea of urban improvement and I am at risk of missing my connection at the armpit tansit center at horora village, not in the mindset for a long commute today as I left early to get ahead of Mariner day game traffic and Simple Bill here is driving this bus like a fucking retard!

Northbound with the trailer trash.... bus 358

This thunderous thighed fat greenwood high graduate and her mothy looking girlfriend who has some dumb ass punkass moron hanging on her are clogging up the middle of the coach... and I just can't help to overhear their conversation that barely passes as english... So apparently thew hefty bag has a thing for the mothy looking one, to the effect that she just offered to do another three way tonight if they would stay over... Allright! I've heared enough! 3 way trailer trash manouvers are not something I would ever want to be forced to witness, the suggestion off it is bad enough, with these three it would be like Earnest takes a ride on Ugly Betty down the Log Jam at Magic Mountain, and he does get thrown from the log on this ride. Well atleast they have moved up front as they got the drift that the text I'm typing is about their sorry asses.

Somebody please dial 911...

As we pass by Golds Gym I notice a trench coated bearded Gump looking deviant jerkin his gurgin as he peeks in on the the good people who are working out, no shame this one has. That's another example of concern, when the weather gets nice the mischievious masturbators rear their heads. I see the move to BumCon-2 was necessary after all, beware the deviant beat-off artist, normally they stick to public restrooms but there is always the oddball who's getting ready to make an ass out of himself on a bridge who's trying to get his last load off.

passing through 105th, southbound

The Rank of an east indian restaurant is emminating through the coach as someone needs to cancel the phad thai dinners, and we got a couple of wellfare prostitutes working the crispy creme this morning, you know the type of trailer trash mom, who tries to collect child support from 9 differant guys, but ends up blowing her way around town to make ends meet.

A snowsuit Steve report, courtesy of SpiderFace

An update on one of our many contributors, Snowsuit Steve, courtesy of local Arachnorock Band 'Spiderface', Steve, who had gone missing this last month, was apparently held up in Harborview Detox, having had his crusty snowsuit peeled from body, Steve is now sporting his signature summer 'osh-kosh bibs' and is back in action begging for change at 105th n Horora Ave N. So all motorists passing through this intersection should be prepared for a destitute who looks as if a truck just ran over his face, to be tapping on your window while waiting at the above mentioned light. I prefer to pitch him a AmPM BBQ sandwich in these times, as cash donations only increase the likelyhood that he'll wander out into traffic and put a dent in your bumper before he bounces over your hood in a booze fueled daze.

Donut-Hole Donnie has boarded the 358

A former standout Dunkin Donut vagrant, Donnie has redeemed his incessant begging ways for the last few years outside local crispy cremes, today he appears to be heading to the Shoreline methadone fix... as he's chattering away like a juiced up parrot dressed in 70's basketball shorts and a vintage Cosby Show t-shirt. Just more worthless scourge wasting air.

thursday moning, 6-24-10, Get a Job or Jump edition

With high temperatures expected to be in the 80's a mass outbreak of drunken panhandling is predicted today and throughout the weekend, A test of the Bum Con Meter is prudent as public indecencies and pagan worship are on the rise... So we are going to BumCon-2, extreme panhandler vigilance is not only reccomended but should be adopted for the remainder of the summer. Guard your shopping carts and leash your dogs as the average street bum will be in a state of cheap whiskey induced stupor, leading to random acts of false clarity that can or may affect the good taxpayer in umwanted ways.

Well we went straight through to Pioneers square

Time to get a drink and cool off from a shitty smelling bus ride, will update when the inevitable destitution is witnessed

passing westlake mall

A fledgling rasta lenny kravitz looking kid boards and losses his pajama bottom to the shock n horror of the young lady sitting in the hot seat. What the Fuck is with everyone losing their drawers in this town, the last thing anyone wants to see is some nasty ass festering ball pusstiule, it should be punishible by a 10,000 dollar fine and loss of revealed appendages!

and I notice....

I notice ali-baba and his forty thieves are eyeing that hotdogg guy in disgust, I hope for his sake they don't put a jihad on him, this is a tense crowd, it could get rather uncomfortable on this bus if a holy war against the oscar meyer infidel is declared!

With a warm n sunny day....

The Arabs have come out of their caves like K-Mart is running a Blue-Light-Special on sand or camell food! I'm serious, its like a Cabbie Convention on this coach, dirka dirka dirka

And at the SPU stop....

And at SPU another nefarious HotDogg scalper hops aboard and proceeds to attempt to peddle a mangy n stale big-bite freshly pulled from his pocket.

ahh... dirka dirka dirka... bus 17 southbound

A young pakistani fellow is ready to climb the mosque tower, with the jib-jive-jab of his carpet merchant music clanking out of the oversized sanyo headphones wrapped around his big nose. Ahhhh.... dirka dirka dirka....