EMERGENCY COMMUTER ALERT

With monthly WELLFARE disperal occuring at 12:01am today the BumCon level has been increased to BUMCON-3 (numerous acts of strife and deviance expected), although it is apparent that most destitutes are still securely held up in their dollar hotels at this hour, increased sightings of daylight zombies and toothless panhadlership is to be expected throughout the week. A predicted rise in local ambient temperatures will only add to the street vagrants boldness. Vigilance is recommended as the bus-shitter index is at orange alert.