Rumors of Citywide Bum Lice Outbreak have been confirmed...

With local businesses frequented by the vagrant element having been closed for de-lousing last night, I have uncovered a very important piece of information for local commuters. According to 'Habib' a 7-11 counter associate, the Health Department order a closure of his franchise along with the ajoining Jack n Box due to numerous complaints of louse infestation in the facilities restroom, but this blog has learned that this is part of a citywide crackdown on vagrant squalor and parasitic infestation. With this news its important for all daily commuters to choose your seat wisely on the bus, although Seattle Metro and Sound Transit are sure to fog there Coaches at the end of the day with delousing agents, this cannot guarantee that the random arachnid will not survive and attempt to hop a ride on your 'coach'. With a numerous sitings of scratchy bums the last few days, I surmise that Seattle's Homeless Population is in th midst of a Crab OutBreak, Travel via public transit at your own risk! I myself have been using alternate methods of transportation so as to not be put in the position to be at risk of invasion from arachnids. Stay Strong Seattle, Your City Leaders are efforting this problem with uptmost urgency, I have learned a commision has been formed in order to advise the mayor on the most expensive way to combat this outbreak of street lice.