EMERGENCY COMMUTER ALERT

It it has just come to my attention that the 1st of every month is wellfare check distribution day, ATTENTION All Bus Rides have the potential to be hell for the next two days as the town drunks will be on a roll by this evening, potentialy long waits due to buses overloaded with shopping carts, bags n boxes. ATTENTION get a ride home if at all possible because the slobbering winos will be out in force this evening, pukers expected onboard numerous coaches. ATTENTION- ride at your own risk, all bus commuters are highly advised to drive or carpool through the weekend.