Northbound, tueday 5-4, bus 358

With a wellfare dependant couple jarring on tootsie pops and discussing eyelash bugers sitting rite behind me, the sound of tootsie pops being full-balled between the gums is becoming rather annoying. Now Chief cloudy eyes boards, and nearly bites it on the deck as he stumbles in a madogg 20/20 fueled alcoholic stupor, boy, whewww, this chief needs to jump in the river and wash off as the air quality on this coach has taken a turn towards the cat-piss nasty side. And what's the deal with all the stinky nasty homeless wearing team gear anyways. Does like the Mariners clothe the homeless? you think MLB wouldn't want this respectable bunch representing the sport, but no... every year I see Seattle's down n out sportin the new gear, what's up with that?

Tuesday Evening Commute

Well with the masturbating parrot far behind, I have arrived at my 358 stop for the northbound trip, and down in the bushes below this stop I observe, the average seattle destitute bracing himself with a shopping cart as he shits in the bushes, what next will todays run bring? Ha Ha Ha Ha.... the bum shitter just toppled over into his steaming pile of crud, now he gets up and starts cussing at what appears to be his woman who I didn't notice earlier as she was hunkered down in the green area. "Well good for them I think... maybe, just maybe... he'll march his shitty ass to a local swimming pool and pony up the 75 cents for a shower" ahh.. that's just wishfull thinking. And we'll take this show onboard the 358 as the bus is here.

Earlier today in the Ballard Industrial District...

Earlier while on my lunch break I witnessed a... bum.. facing a brick wall, standing there yanking his wang with the fury of a thousand spaniards running from the bulls, it was a shocking display of shamelessness! The only dignity this deviant had was to be turned away from the oncoming traffic on Leary Way, I supposed he thought that was enough privacy to get the job done...

at the transit center

With the 358 drivers constant jabbering and honking and bitching at cars the whole way, we lost a few minutes, so I watch my connecting bus pull out a heart beat before we arrived.. So with a thirty minute wait, I think I'll just swing into the Taco Joint and have a drink, thus avoiding numerous limp-dick panhandlers and the general strife off todays soceity. Until tommorrow then, have a nice evening all.

Crispy Creme report

I swear, this dude who just got on with a crispy creme box is Screech's twin, gots the hair, nose n everything and he's carrying a man purse, ohh n a whalgreens schmock on and he's getting off at work, well atleast he's working. So far on this run I'v counted eight people passed out in bus shelters, the aftermath of the wellfare check I surmise. And it appears some industrious drunks tried to heist the Brown Bear from the carwash on 165th again as one of its legs is all contorted out and missing paint. The poor Brown Bear gets messed with on average of once a month, fuckin kids don't got nothing better to do these days I guess, Ohh shit our driver is screaming at cars and jabbering away with this old battleaxe in front, and our driver is explaining this is why most drivers are alcoholics, well I guess that's a good excuse as any for us riders to use, 'most our metro drivers are alcoholics and there jabbering drives us to drink too....

at 105th and HoRoRa N.

This dude gets on who is like covered in shit, like he rolled around in it or something, the nastyness continues...

continuing north through the north Seattle's crack cocaine district

Passing through 85th, we see several ho's workin the Jack in the Box and a street bum begging for beer money with the well over-used 'why lie its for beer' sign. And in the vicinity of Oak Tree Village a rather large destitute is sleeping it off in a makeshift cardboard lean-two...

358 northbound, monday 5-3

WOW, all the women onboard this coach have a horrified look on their faces, like they seen something terrible, could the deviants been up to their usual shenanigans earlier? With the quickness that the good worker is exiting the bus today, one can only speculate as to what happened. Ohh shit, the 358 ahead of this one is pulled over with SPD hauling a bum into the back of there squad car, supervisors are there and several other squad cars, looks like them bums gone done, done it again, well we continue on without further theatrics...

5-3 Evening Commute. The Destitute Express

Onboard the weed mobile which is bus 44, at the moment. Always a heavy smell of the chronic onboard this bus in the afternoon, its actually quite soothing. And the vagrants are in their glories today, sportin some new osh- koshes and bags of 40's for sure. And up at the 358 stop we got this youth sporting a distinctive 'less than zero' look, with his sport jacket topped out with a gangsterish chromed out LA Dodgers cap, he's getting on the right bus for sure. And here we go!

EMERGENCY COMMUTER ALERT

With Wellfare checks being deposited over the weekend and cashed today, the nexts few days are expected to be rife with celabratory deviants and shopping cart mama's. And due to warm temperatures, a general panhandler resurgence is also expected. All dive bars and local laundromats should be avoided as the 'newly flush with cash' vagrants will be out in force. The new beer tax is not expected to alter the street deviants pattern of heavy binge drinking during the first week of the month. So the standard rash of bus shelter pukings, public urinations and alley bowel movements is to be expected. By this weekend the standard pattern of aggresive panhandling will continue as most wellfare monies will have been spent on cheap booze and cheap motels. Your afternoon bus commute is expected to be punctuated with the random bum confusion from alcoholic blackout and a strong element of trailer trash mom's taking there brood shopping at local K-marts n Value Villages. And finally, BEWARE of the Horny Deviant who has the habit of exposing himself at bus stops when on experiencing drunken tremors and visions of snakes. So ride with vigilance, mace, pepper spray, and other forms of personal defence should be easily accesible when riding the bus under these conditions. Ride Safe

general strife onboard bus 44

I see the rico suave of punk rock red hired latino's is onboard this bus today, and the standard load of degenerates going to the DSHS office to get paid by us taxpayers. Well welcome to another week america

here we go again...

The toothless skank 'just shut up sheri' has boarded the bus and she's jabberin and grinding her gums away a few rows forward. Now a meth dude is giviing her shit, tellin her to shut up... she's getting belligerant, regular civilian commuters are all moving to the other ends of the bus, she's starts bitching"where's everyone going r u to good to sit by me..." hell ya I say to that! And the jabbering continues, now its like this, shels like this to one of the meth heads "fuck no! I ain't givin you no blow job for 50 cents" he's like "that was for all of us" ohh shit, know she's goin to the front and bitchin to the driver about it, I only got two more stops to go........ and bam... I'm off that crack whores bus

Soutbound, 358

And, a rowdy crew of methadoners have boarded in the Shoreline district, there talking about goin to the beach today, ohh this makes since as last Saturday was wellfare check day, grounds for an EMERGENCY COMMUTER ALERT. Ahh shit, the CARB just missed the bus! It would have been good to interview him today for the intelligence that can always be gained from a cruiser of his nature. And here at 130th N. We have 4 wheelchairs lifting onboard, this makes the suits onboard nervous and some cry for the back door to wait for the next bus.

Bums moving in on 205th street Starbucks

With a gaggle of parked shopping carts loaded with general bum necessities parked in front, the bums are laying claim to this coffee shop in force.... Upon boarding bus 358 southbound, the passengers are eminating a general odor of rancid funkiness, in this situation one should pray that the heat isn't jacked all the way up, or the methane content to the air would be at risk of combustion, fortunatly that is not the case today.

Mondadayy morning daylight edition

As the days get longer, the morning commute can be xpected to be punctuated with increasing numbers of destitutes who are in a generally foul mood after being a-woken early by hungry baby birds chirping for breakfast, the bridge or underpass dweller will be in extra aggresive mode as early daylight signals 'bummertime' considered peak season for panhandling.