Damn! girl! get that shit under control!

This is a blog about my twice daily trip to and from work onboard Seattle Metro bus 358, the 358 is known as north Seattle's most nefarious bus run. When the coach leaves I will be blogging as fast as my thumbs can type... so hop onboard and enjoy a run. your comments and bus experiences will be appreciated and responded to.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

358, thursday morning 9/30/10

What's This.... the methadoners are making a run for Mini Sirloin Burgers at the 130th Crack in the Box, the pile off like they were in the Tokyo Subway and are running into Jack's place, I wonder if someone told them today was the 1st and are under the impression their wellfare money has hit the debit card, ohh well, todays the 30th, fuck-em. And in other news.. we have compelling information about Snowsuit Steve, I will be posting a special report about this in the future. And all is quite at Golds Gym, no nefarious masturbators today.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Wednesday Evening update from Bus 358

With word that the LINK-LITE Rail crashed into a van full of vagrants earlier today in the Ranier Valley, I have meager sympathy for trash that cannot get out of the way of a train, fortunately I live north so I only have to hear about when the LINK gets fucked up. And this evening the 358 is rather tame as I elected to board the 2nd coach and avoid the foul odor of the damp bum. In a late report from last nights commute, I had turned off the blog when the Shoreline HotDog Huckster boarded, but he was only decked out in some free give away Mariners shit, you know the type-the cheap cap with the Supercuts loo on it, no doggs to be pedaled yesterday. And we have a suspiciously gay ugly ponytailed wide eyed tribesman babbling away about these sharp pains he's having on his mobile, and he's says it happens when he walks fast and he's got to go see a doctor, standbye, I feel he's gonna deliver a punchline.... he's talking about how he usually does those works outs in the morning and is connection goes bad, so he goes up to the driver and says his connection going bad, "c'mon pal, this ain't a fucking call center" driver sits him back down and he starts yelling into his phone how he likes to eat it in the morning even if he gots to force it. Allright.. gklad this ride is over, have a nice evening, I need to leave this bus before I start crying, this dude is going on and on.... its bad.

Bus 17 northbound

Bus 17 is no 358, that much is certain, but I surmise that future Sounder Trips will provide ample content for this blog while I'm waiting for my connecting bus in the heart of downtown. The indecency is running strong in the city! We will be bringing the cam in the future to establish a more thorough documentation of it all, and.... there is a strong possibility we will be able to bring to the viewer once again, THE BUM SIGNAGE OF THE WEEK REPORT!


After riding the SOUNDER TRAIN to downtown I can confirm the ZOMBIES from THRILLER ARE LIVING IN THAT PARK ON 3RD N JACKSON NEXT TO THE KING COUNTY COURT HOUSE, long know as a 'no go zone' this park has long been the harbor for every type of fucked up fella and derelict drunk. As I'm waiting for my connecting bus back up to Ballard, I Note - The General State of Street Bum Decay which is now running rampant through our once beautifull city, Thankyou Mayor Mcginn, only you could prevent bum fires! And we got some Pookie looking fella in a mobile chair across the way holding up a scribbling of a clown labeled Cary Grant, I surmise it must be code for "I'm a worthless piece of shit, can you spare some change so I can get my bearing greazed"

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Due to increased emphasis on the GTL, bus ridership has been sporadic and will continue to be in the future, although 358 trips are not cancelled, I have changed the daily routine and take several alternate routes with roadwork and workouts in between. But, I will still report on the spot coverage when the enivitable outrage of shameless deviance or any incident of downright dirty destitution occurs, afterall... we still have a long way to go to reach 358 days, 5 months n 3 weeks to nbe precise. And just now, the driver made a special stop for some crackheads in front of the 135th KFC, WTF special priviledges for those fuckheads.

Tuesday morning, 9/28/10, jungle to jungle run, bus 358

With an ambient humidity index of 180 degrees, bum schweat dripping from the ceiling and the methadoners clacking away like a pack of crazed monkeys its like being in a tropical jungle on this hot, boiling hotdog of a bus. One would think the driver would have the heat off... but no sir, its maintaining a solid 80, and lord almighty! The Gurney Boy is bringing his putrid urine sack game onboard, this may lead to a mass outbreak of passenger vomiting if those bags aren't empty, but fortunately for me I'm in the back, but I can see several ladies up front faces start to turn green and then they promptly get off the bus to wait for the next one. The Horror........

Friday, September 24, 2010

358 northbound on frog looking ho friday

Its a ripe time for the Johns to head to Horora and get serviced up, the tramps are running thick this evening, and I think even Steve gots a shot at some play if he's willing to part with some change. Other than the fact the Prostituion industry appears to be thriving along this north seattle corridor, I don't have much to report, so I'm going to wrap this weeks blog up with a qoute from an old friend of the show, "LET'S, GO SEA...HAWKS....." Ed the Tuba Man


With the crew-cut She Ra's salivating early in the morning another less than motivating commute begins, and I see Flipped Out Fred is already working over the work force at the transit center for some change, and upon boarding the 358 the sounds of the morning prayer session to the prophet are strong in the back, and Akbar even gots his magic flying carpet down in back, Ali Baba he is not..

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Ahh Shit...

With the temperatures in the low 100s I was knocked out and almost missed my stop, woke up to a bus loaded with riff raff and squalor, the bum lineage is strong today, well on to work.


And off-course the blast furnace is on, at nearly 100degrees this bus is a safe harbor for H1N1 and all other viruses, obviously the driver is weak willed and has anticipated verbal outbursts from the bum who uses the bus as his house and always starts bitching about it being to cold onboard his living room.

Thursday Morning 9/23/10

With plunging Ambient Nightime Temperatures, historicly the good working commuters of western Washington could look forward to a general transient exodus to the soutth, but not this year, not with a bleeding heart bum loving mayor runnning things in Seattle, this bearded hippy is systematicly attempting to turn the greater Seattle area into a Bum-Haven with handouts a shelter and a food bank on a corner near you. I just want to know when it became acceptable to have deviants lying around allover the city just feet from their feces. And with that the 358 run begins, sure to be filled with many more lazy motherfuckers and the random stinky bastard.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Ahh Shit, we got a Dumpster Demon onboard

This nasty ass motherfucker has half of home depots garbage bagged up and wrapped around himself and he's sifting through Taco Del Mar bags for a snack, the smell is atrocious, better he's sitting in front and I'm in back, that much is certain. And a morning methadone update, Today the commuter can expect a rather average level of crazed methadoners with an outlook of increasing wild-eyeness and useless chatter.

Morning Midweek Strife Edition

With local Edmonds Deviants onboard the 1st bus and a jag of retards on their way to the school for the neglected youth, Wednesday morning begins... And the whore sightings at the transit center are minimal, one can suspect that the wellfare dime isn't stretching far enough for a piece of nasty ass from the aids gang. But I do notice this crippled cat rolling around on a board like Eddie Murphy in trading places, probaly just a poser so... no coin for you, and once again.. bus 358

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


IN THINKING THAT A BLOG OF THIS NATURE WOULD HAVE CREATED SUCH A FERVOR OVER A FEW MONTHS, I FEEL THAT ALL SUCH TRANSCRIPTIONS SHALL BE TERMINATED UNTIL MY CONFECTIONERS CAN GO OVER MY LEGACY. BUT... as i see it. "IS JUST WAY TO MUCH FUN TALKING SHIT ABOUT THE DUMB-ASSES ON THE BUS" So after six months of texting this bullshit, I feel that it is my responsibility to my fans and the working commuter in general to finish it out, and it will only be 358 days. At day 358 I'll take a commuter bus and make a clausterphobic scene or something and stop traffic on the 5 bridge or something, "I can see it know 'I HAD TO MUCH BUS IVE HAD TO MUCH BUS LET ME OFF LET ME OFF' and of course I'll be booked for not paying my fare" fuckers dont know guys like me should ride for free instead of those wellfare motherfuckers that do it every fucking day!

UHH OHH, mutiple hoopties at shoreline KFC

Looks like the double down with the conolel is on tonight........

and at the shoreline fred meyer

I just happen to notice Rico Suave dude jump off the bus and don his Fred Meyer vest with the smoothness of a career retail associate, and he looks over his shoulder, checking to make sure none of his essai's are around and back go on his aviators, na na naa na na... Rico............... Suave.............

Ahh.... once again passing through the traffic sphincter that is Shoreline Ghetto

With a weak driver with no balls, my connnection will most certainly be delayed, and further delays are incured when all these moslems just have to haggle about the fare when getting off at the local Wahlgreens, man... if only I had had a nice fat n juicy pulled pork sandwich to have grubbed on earlier...

And I almost Forgot to mention

Mention the two drunk Bolshevik guys in the seat in front, well they got off at the liquor store and sounded as if they were going to pound a couple more bottles of wodka and have sex, an example of when the booze goes bad.

358 northbound, 9-21-10

If it weren't for the absolutely nasty-ass couple making out in the back of this coach, I would swear I'm onboard a mobile mosque at dirka dirka hour. Let's see.. we have 1 2 3...... 18 foreigners chattering away in the back half of this coach. Sounds like the crowd during the cow rugby match in Rambo III. Well.. let's see how our favorite example of destitution is faring this week, ahh shit Steve is looking lively, marching in a stagger back n forth patroling the discount golf store corner, NO CHANGE SHALL GET PAST THIS LINE OF SQUALOR! AND AS I move to the front of the bus it feels as if I just flew around the world and landed in fucking Tijuana, hold it! Somebody please break out a pinata so this pack of kids will get off the bus. And yes..... a fledgling wanna be Rico Suave has boarded, hope they like his game in little baghdad in back off the bus.

Monday, September 20, 2010

358 southbound

With the chattering of the morning scourge annoying the working commuter, the 358 run begins. The stench is foul with these ones-apparent dumpster dwellers, that have not missed out on the left over beefaroni for months.

AM prostitution alert at the transit center

Damn! These ho's are burning the morning oil, hoping for the early AM trick apparently, possibly trying to collect up on last of the wellfare money from the horned up destitute. I can just see them taking on a team of bums behind the home depot while their kids play in the bushes. Sad

Monday Morning, September 20th

With Bum Con-4 set, I have hopes of a non-eventfull trip this morning, although the odds of this are minimal to meager. Last week I noticed a horde of methadoners congrating around their mecca in shoreline so we will be keeping a sharp eye out for those clacking fools as we pass by.

Friday, September 17, 2010


A return to full n detailed Bus n Bum Blogging will commence Monday morning at roughly 6:30AM, sorry for any inconveniance but I have been otherwise detained on vaction and since tuesday have been doing battle on the planet Reach

Thursday, September 16, 2010

358 reports to resume soon

Due to vacation over last weekend, bus blogging was temporarily suspended, we had a slight log in issue on the east coast so reports on the retards over there were not available, but trust me, the fucking bums in Washington DC have a collective IQ of just slightly less than negative 33.5 which is just slightly lower than the average service workers IQ. I anticipate a fresh 358 report will be logged no later than Friday morning.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Tuesday Night report

Just making my way north here, no blog today as have been preparing my football league for its draft later, but we do have a Steve report, Am proud to say its looking up for him this evening as I noticed he was clutching a warm Papa-Johns 18inch pizza when I passed by, Way to go Seattle! Way to make a bum feel like he matters! And in other news I'm ptroud to announce there we be some very special reports coming soon to this blog later in the week and over the weekend, So stay tuned as your not going to want to miss these anticipatred rants!

Monday, September 6, 2010

For One Day, we go to BUM CON 5

With Labor Day upon us good working people, the average street bum will be forced to move his game to your local grocery store in a vain attempt at starting his or hers week out with some change. If you happen to come across this type of bum, make sure to pitch them some canadian change. And for the worker who is unfortunate enough to have to go to work today on your designated day off, feel secure in the fact that you too.. are helping to support your local bus stop bum.

As for todays commute... those of you commuting should be at high alert for mutiple pans handled and general bum strife. As bum income will be low, the bum market will be taking a dive today and actions will be taken by the collective to rectify the situation.


Thursday, September 2, 2010


It appears the squalor police have visited recently, as the previously mentioned orgy pits and other forms of bum housing and leisure furniture are gone, but we do have a bum and his sign working the northbound corner, he's got the 'will work for food' mojo going. The last time this guy set foot on a jobsite, he was in high school tryin to bum money from his mom.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Carpooling home today

So the ever-rustic 358 ride will have to wait till next time. But I do note that a drunken Hoser looking dude is wandering around Ballard with a half gallon of Black Label, the scurvy bastard is wasted and bound for a night spent with his vomiit in the gutter. And a new mobile bum pit has parked in the neighborhood, a Dodge Ram Van, its off course brown and is loaded to the ceiling with bum- loot, shot a pic so will be posting it up later as a referance photo of standard bum housing and orgy pittage.