Damn! girl! get that shit under control!

This is a blog about my twice daily trip to and from work onboard Seattle Metro bus 358, the 358 is known as north Seattle's most nefarious bus run. When the coach leaves I will be blogging as fast as my thumbs can type... so hop onboard and enjoy a run. your comments and bus experiences will be appreciated and responded to.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Transit Center n Goodnight

Ohh... looks like the Hobbit post didn't post, ohh well, am sure we'll see them in the future. Anyways the regular group of panhadling losers is trying to drum up booze/crack money here tonight, they pretty much steer clear of me these days, as I do try to present an aura of danger when traveling through the scum of societies crib. And this pretty much brings this weeks commute to a close as I'm scheduled to drive tommorrow and Friday, but don't stay far away over the Holiday Weekend as I plan on presenting an expose on expected commute conditions for the summer of 2010, a sorta handbook for the summertime bus rider in the greater Seattle region. I will be referencing the Baldwin Poolio Bus Ride Almanac for critical information and supporting deviant episodes for 'The Situations to Avoid segment'. One thing is certain though, this will be the foremost AUTHORITOR on Traveling by Public Transit during the Summer of 2010. Good night all... and have a great weekend.

Here come the hobbits

A bundle of hobbits just boarded in shoreline, they hopped up on the seats in front and ohh my... are starting to sing. I've had a suspicion there is a colony of little people in north city somewhere, this is going to require further investigation, and we punched through the shoreline traffic sphincter in near record time and are arriving at bay 3, horora village transit center

And out in the Shoreline Region

The Lynnwood trailer trash has boarded, dude with a massive bag of Sears Popcorn is munching up a storm like a starving seagull donned in third hand gear from the city parks dumpster. A typical display of wellfare shamelessness occurs when he starts trying to sell a bus token for a quarter, next he'll be demanding money from me and fellow riders at the transit center, might have to show him the boots for a quick reminder on who's in charge here.

Damn! just missed a good pic...

OHH SHIT the GRACE JONES of Horora Ho's was at the stop in front of the K-Mart, she had the Mohawk cut-check! the black leather-check! and the just waiting to get pumped shorts-check! Damn, these Ho's are really going to the throwback look these days....

we got some action....

The dude who needs a green card is staring at me with beady cross eyes like he's fucked up or somethin, standbye, I'm gonna ask this clown a couple of questions... So He left the bus after I asked him "what's up, you got a problem or areyou just admiring my steel toed boots?" He mumbled somethin in what sounded like spanish... I put my phone to my ear, tapped on my boot, and mouthed I.N.S. at him, I think he got the drift... well he only got about a half mile walk to home depot...

BUS 358 northbound 5-26

Aha... I'm riding in style today as I scored a back corner seat for this run, typicaly I'll be standing by the back door all jacked up admist the destitution and the breething dead. Not today, first a quick peek at our passengers... we got a couple of what look to be SPU Nerd Boys playing world of warcraft on their phones, ohh lord! These pansies even got their phones system linked by a cord, serious, on further observation I notice their thighs are uncomfortably close together,(this is when I pause to appeal to the female population to nominate a couple of nerdy girls to please lay these boys). And off course we have another subject I'm sure the Border Patrol would like to interview, and finally... we got a dago-bastard sitting acrossed from me that gots a muff growing out his earhole. And with the unlaid nerd boys departure, I notice the toilet bowl haircut flume sported by this cruiser up front, it looks somewhat like... a toilet seat afro mullet on a white dude, this guy is definatly heading to Lynnwood

Waiting for the 358

Ill just power a couple of bud-lights here at the stop while I wait, I've found that blatant bus-stop beer consumtion enhances my cover and leads to numerous attempts by the USELESS begging for the last sip...

Northbound, wednesday afternoon ride of the drunken valkries

With a suspicion that every drunken rectum spigot of a bum may be out today due to the early Mariners game, I begin to negotiate my way home. The sight of three bycicle sheriffs riding by my stop in Ballard was not encouraging... It feels more like a sign that the natives are growing restless due to depletion of their monthly wellfare check, a possible revisement to the BUM-CONDITION may be in order, first we will wait n watch...

Epic Plan for gulf coast Oil cleanup

With millions of unwilling transients n destitutes unwilling to take responsibility for themselves, I suggest the federal government get some compensation for supporting the lot of them. I propose the WELLFARE BUM OIL CLEANUP CHARTER initiative, where as the dependant of the state would be put to work cleaning the Gulf Coast Beaches for his or her handout

passing the zoo

I notice that the homeless encampment is fully regrouped and expanding after the incident with the SPD rousting them several months ago. Someone there is idefinately industrious, I would put this group to work spearing garbage alongside our nations highways so the Indian can stop shedding that tear, it will be the KEEP THE BUMS BUSY KEEPING AMERICA BEAUTIFULL campaign, well put the chief in charge, give him his bow back and the authoritor to count coup and scalp any bum not doing his part.

Ohh Here We Go with the Bullshit

At 105th, this old bag gets her walker cart (loaded with crushed beer cans) caught and jammed on this poor guys wheelchair, now he's got his chair in forward n reverse trying to untangle the mess, Clankety Clank Clank, emptys are falling out all over the place, the driver is up to help, and.... we got a good samaritan who's playin bag boy, hope he writes his exta effort off on his taxes as hazardous charitable duty. And were rolling once again thanks to Opie up front.

And it appears...

It appears that there was a circling of the shopping carts out in front off the Ross Dress for Less Last Night, could it have been an unsanctioned Bum Congress, well we will just have to srounge up Ballard Bridge Bill this afternoon for an interview and see what he knows...

Methadone Center Report

With an Army of the unwilling and toothless lined up for their 6AM dose of methadone, this bus slid right past without catching a case of the fruitlessly singing worthless, so without that scourge onboard we should be making good time to our stop as those lifeless bastards n their whores won't be onboard literally-gumming up the works.

WOW! looks like....

Looks like the 99cents store on 200th got broken in to again as its got a couple of boards tacked over the front, must have been like a 99cent blue light special there last night.... Standbye, approaching the Shoreline Methadone Center for the Hopeless...

at the Transit Center, 5:32AM 5-26

We wait for the 358 amidst the street bums other preferred mode of transportation- a logjam of costco n home depot shopping carts, jacknifed up where the've been abandoned at the stop, a situation that could have been much worse if the garbage strike had lasted weeks instead of hours.... Instances of Vagrancy are low this morning as the Snohomish County Sheriff is on station here, as earlier reported, with the majority of destitutes held up in shelters n the drunk tank until the 1st, low levels of destitution are expected for the next 4 days-BUMCON-5 rules of engagement are recommended.

Wednesday Morning... BUM TIPPING - not to be confused with donating

With yet another rancid smelling Sleeper who's just itching to get rousted out of his comfortable n warm comatosed early morning siesta... We begin the daily trek to work, there's a novel 4 letter word-W.O.R.K., Ill estimate roughly 75% of the transients I see on the bus run, dodge or dive out of the way when they hear that word, fucking lackeys. AND I begin another commute left to ponder what has misfired so bad in this nation that the imperfectly healthy feel entitled to live off the state and the working persons tax-dollar, OK, in an effort of compassion I will give the likes of the Gurney Boy a pass and even SnowSuit Steve gets out there and patrols his intersection with fervor...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

At the Horora Village transit Center

Unfortunately the camera sucks in this phone so I couldn't get the pic I was looking for, and the haji's are on bus 101 enroute to Everett now, with camera bags, man purses and all, I'm contemplating if this falls under suspicious behaviour and should call it in, hard to say what they were up to, could have just been out looking for a new dick bar to smother their beards in. And we got this low budget drill bit taylor looking dude at the transit center donned in a garbage sack, a hardhat, riding down a broken down ten speed off to the turtle races in the bum-encampment next to the transit center. Well this wraps up another successful commute if leaving at 4:30AM and getting home at 7:45PM is your thing, have a great evening all...

Well we will use the delay to try and get a pic of these Hajis at the transit center

And we got a bonified street bum holding up the show

This ginger dude spilled his box of bread n canned goods as he was trying to pay, first its impressive that a food bank vagrant would even try to pay, but with his shit all over the bus n street were gonna be delayed enough to miss my connecting bus

Passing through Shoreline

Its starting to feel like the border patrol should be pulling this bus over any minute as this dude up front looks a lot like Speedy Gonzalez and a group of Russians just boarded all proud to be decked out in their 24hour fitness jumpsuits, One's named Yuri and another has Dimitri stiched to his top, WATCH OUT-RUSSIAN PIMPS START TURF WAR IN SHORELINE OVER GHETTO WORE n PIMP RIGHTS. With that last stop I am the minority with 30 people still onboard unless you were to count the Ginger, but I won't.

And I may just have made a bad move as...

As I moved up to a seat acrossed from a couple of haji's, turbans, man purses and all... they got a distinct thugee cult appearance to them, I just hope they don't have something sinister strapped around their waists. Well I always considered riding this bus being on the frontlines of the destitution off America.... and a couple of standardized Horora Ho's just appeared and disembarked at the Crispy Creme, that Crispy Creme has become the prostitution rendevous station of north Seattle recently....

Bus 358, at Greenlake, northbound 5-25

With a gaggle of useless and futureless high schoolers jamming up the works we proceed north with a little bit more tedium than normal, I got a bum-sleeper passed out in the middle of this coach, he looks to be just the type of guy I.N.S. should be having a talk with. Actually a third of the people onboard this coach could stand to have their paperslooked over, a policy off checkpoints for commuters definatly would decrease bus congestion, transit times and improve service in general. Now fucking Long Duck Dong is yapping away on the phone in the seat behind, proballly talking about the rims he's intending on stealing tonight.


With extreme overtime shifts pushing my commute dangerously close to 17 hours from departure to return, we here at the POOLIO command bunker feel its time to take the GLOVES OFF and let the public see the true nature of this blog... thus every fucking low life lazy motherfucker is gonna get it-if only just in text. These fucking lazy motherfuckers don't even got the right to be breathing the same air as me as far as I'm concerned, If it was up to me I have every last one of em rounded up and sent to the spice mines of Kessel to shovel Rankor shit for eternity. If you don't like, don't read, after all there is a content warning notification, and let me tell you about this old bastard who's covered in spikes with Slash's Hat on sitting a few rows in front on bus 44, he looks like the epiphony of wellfare scum, on his way to the U district to beat some sort of tree-hugger drum on my taxpaying dime. He gets the 'signal' to commit and save the planet from global warming created by his CO-2 production. And just wait tell we pass home depot and I get started in on the Illegal immigrants... Actually got quit a few people onboard bus 358 at the moment who could use a good profiling and interrrogation...

Ahh Shit......

The Gurney Boy getting on and holding up the show, gots his gear all snagged up on this dudes cart, shiaat, the commuters are getting restless, OK, my stops coming up, if I didn't need to disembark I'd probally go up front and try and help with the circus, well everyone, have a nice day, and remember.... Tuesday after the holiday is right around the corner!


With an unexpected shortcoming of destitution onboard local buses this week, the BUM-CON meter has been pulled back to BUM-CON 5 (Bum strife n deviance expected). As we are nearing the end of a 31 day month its becoming more n more apparent that the local vagrant has shot his or hers wellfare wad for the month of May. Extreme instances of aggresive panhandling can be expected for the remainder of the month. And next Tuesday Bum Deviance will be on the rise after there 12:01AM wellfare check hits the cash machine (more on this later, as we have obtained access to several undercover operators), so enjoy this lull in daily travesties, but remain vigilant, we will be returning to BUM-CON 3 ON MONDAY in anticipation of the travails of June and numerous upcoming summer indiscretions

Bus 358 southbound, 5-25

It appears I beat the scourge this morning as we are experiencing a low level of shadiness today, but the Meth-a-bums were lined up two wide and ten deep at the clinic in shoreline, things will change after 6AM when they drop their daily dose.

Its oddly quiet at the transit center this morning...

With not a vagrant, destitute, truant or zombie in sight, one can only wonder where the asshole of society is at this morning, ah ha, the bus from Lynnwood is unloading a group of the walking wounded currently, this looks like a rabble of shell-shocked tent city survivors bracing themselves to their shopping carts...

tuesday morning Zombie Alert

Increased hours at work has led to an eradict schedule, as this lovely morning were goin in on the first run... We have several sleepers on my first bus, there just wheezing n farting away oblivious to their surroundings, that makes me think.... In the tradition of cow-tipping, a city wide movemant towards bum-tipping should be put in effect. Well we will see what the 358 Expresss brings momentarily....

Monday, May 24, 2010

Shoreline Police boards 358

Shoreline cop boards this bus in searchof vagrant wearing a silver wig, unfortunatly for this blog we didn't have the suspect onboard, but we got a couple of other suspects he should have took off the bus...

looky looky here, 5-24 Evening Commute

We got a couple of burnt-out grateful dead roadies boarding bus 44 here on market street, the dude seen better days and his chick is all broken down from what looks to be to many gang bangs... And continuing on up the hill to Horora I notice the one n only Birdshit Bill passed out in back, what a sight, his drawers are down and he gots a dog strewn all over himself. And this other cruiser dressed only in 70's basketball shorts n a tank top is getting twitchy in back-slurring out stories of illusions of granduer as he waves a cherry lolli-pop threw the air. If he didn't talk like a clucking chicken I would be able to relate what sort of bnullshit he is spinning... and we continue onward

with a sputter of bum whining this trip comes to n end

With a group of lazy needing a handout whiner bums wasting air by pissing n moaning about everything, this ride comes to an end

Methadone Report

A large line has formed outside the meth clinic, when the doors open it will be christmas once again for this gaggle of truants n street bums

Monday Morning Edition, may 24th Bus 358

With a swarm of fruit flies hovering over the zombie team in front, I proceed to the back for cover as we begin the run south.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Just a moment ago in BALLARD, a special bum report from market street

As I walked out of Subway this bloated bum feller demanded money for food, I told him no sir, he started to bitch and moan about how I have money and eyeball my meatball marinara sub, so I had to lower the boom on this specific vagrant by saying " No 1.. you got enough fat on you to last fo a month or two, No 2.. and you got your money from me last time you lined up at the wellfare center for shit pieces so get the fuck out of my face you fat bastard before I feed you my boot!" As I took an aggresive posture readying myself for any dim-witted moves on this fucking idiots part. But no, the fucking guy senced the danger and wandered off bitching, then from acrossed the street he starts hollering about how he's gonna fuck me up and all this other shit. This whole incident was absolutely fucking hilarious to me, as most pud-wackers like him just want someone to feel sorry for them, and well.. I'm still here waiting for bus 75 that isn't showing up...

Monday, May 17, 2010

and arriving at the transit center

Well a uneventfull trip, all the meatheads must have been on earlier buses or are busy bathing in local lakes. Have a nice evening

Lordy Lordy

Up at the KFC, a couple of zombies appear from th back of the bus, fortunately it appears there just on the way to the liquor store, and they bolter off the bus without paying then start pawing at each other over one of there packs, enough of this as we continue on......

Passing through 105th

There is no sign of snowsuit Steve, with the balmy weather I'm sure he's sporting his free-balling osh-koshesl well check here at Crispy Creme... no Steve, just a dude with his pants all the way down taking a leak on Jack n Boxes shrubbery, just standard north seattle stuff.

Monday Evening, May 17th, northbound bus 358

Yikes, a hairy legged bulldyke just almost brushed my legs with her repunzeled booted sasquatch legs, that was a close call, the lord only knows what sort of critters are festering on the rather earthy looking lesbian. As I'm sitting in front today we will have front row seats to the show on this sweltering coach, already a dude with top gun aviators, donning a popeye shirt who was jamming YMCA's 'In the Navy' got a lift on this bus today, he egressed at the 90th st Taco Schmell. And we got that loud mouthed driver from a couple o weeks ago, she's been harping about numerous traffic revisions along the route and generally yaking up a storm...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

continuing on through the Shoreline District

We run into some problems in the Shorline Fred Meyer region as this Hiroshima survivor starts arguing the fare with the driver, now she's waving her finger in the drivers face, fuck almighty.... this could be compared to a Milton Bradley melt-down when he argues ball n strikes with the umpire. Finally! SHE'S OUT OF HERE!, and with that conveniant ejection we proceed north and I'm going to make my connection, well that's all we got this evening, STAY CLASSY SEATTLE

Wednesday Evening Commute, 5-11-10, bus 358 northbound

Passing greenlake I notice that Birdshit Bill is passed out in back, snoring n weezing away without a care...Earlier, this asian hooker passed by the stop, she was decked out in a size or to to small shorties hiked a few inches to high and a blouse that let everything bounce n all hang out, twice I saw a tit flop out of her get-up as she fumbled with her cigarette in the breeze, the skank did not board the 358 so I assume she just works the bus-stops by the zoo... Not prime ho-in territory if you ask me, but if anyone is in the market for a 40+ fat asian ho, she's marching north on Horora ave between 45th and the zoo at the moment. And up here at 105th... we have a snowsuit steve siting, looks like the snowsuit has been bagged for the year as he's donned only in a set of bibs with no shirt on, what a slacker, but steady weather in the high 60's must seem like a fucking heat wave to him. Up at the Crispy Creme on 125th St I see what looks to be Stephen Hawking cruising across the intersection at full speed, and he's got a bag of what looks to be electrical supplies, hmm... he must be up to something. And in shoreline a boatload of trash boards, all babling away on there phones about some party their trying to find, if you ask me.. any party this crowds going to will border dangerously close to an inbred hillbilly ho-down.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

ahh.... I just decided.....

Just decided to nap the rest of the way, saving myself the visual horror of the general state of our nation. And the transit center is populated with numerous bag-ladies and the usual rabble of delinquent youth looking for a handout, its a standard sprigtime affair here today, with that I'm going to sign off, until next time, goodnight n good evening....

With the stench of nasty trailer park ho's

The trailer park ho's in back of this coach are stank! And could use a trip to a public pool or something, a sponge bath in a bird bath would even do... And the squaw sitting up front could use a thorough delousing also I reckon...

Tuesday 5-11-10, evening commute

With temperatures predicted to stay in the seventies for the next week or two, I fear the daily commute will begin to rear its ugly side. And as I wander up to my first stop I'm rewarded with the sight of a wellfare mom breast feeding her seedling, I SEEN THIS BAG BEFORE... On bus 358 with her tit out as usual. Ahh... so this is how it is these days... And a posse of drunks is marching up the street in a stupor, they approach and demand change, "NEGATIVE, THE CIRCLE K is giving out free nachos. N doggs just up the block, so get to stepping" I tell them, thus passing off the vagrants to Salim at the Circle K, and on bus 44 we got a know it all who just can't get enough of listening to how smart he thinks he is... Pick this back up on the 358

Monday, May 10, 2010

358 trips temporarily suspended

Due to working plus hours of overtime recently, bus-blogging has been intermittent as I have been driving n car-pooling to and from work, but fear not.. the blog will continue... as I'm about to board bus 15 enroute to a happy-hour appointiment with my carpool ride, On bus 15, the usual band of degenerate teenagers are wasting air.. and at market street a congregation of ass-handed to them long ago vagrants are holding court with what looks to be several 40's of Ranier. Further up the line I notice an impromtu tent city forming on the green strip of 62nd street, these damn bums r starting to set up shop and squat in peoples front yards these days... Well, as were on 15th ave NW we will see momentarily if the Sands gentlemans club was shut down too... That would be a negative, its good to know that bastion of good pay for ballard high graduates is still in operation, end of the line on this trip, good night

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Connection Made

A quick 200meter sprint is all that is necessary some times to catch your connecting route and gain an extra thirty minutes of 'your time' it also counts as practicing your zombie cardio move for those mornings when someone forgets to feed the Washelli Zombies their Friskee's and daily dose of methadone. And another sucessfull trip is about to conclude, tommorrow's report will be limited as I will be driving in, but if something happens worthy of this blog, I will be sure to report. Goodnight all and safe commuting...

continuing on through north Seattle

This sure is a proud looking bunch.. boarding at K-Mart with there booty from the dollar store, now this kid is opening his coat and trying to sell... ha ha ha, a in the package squirt gun and some pez dispensers, "what a homo" "sorry buddy, I already donated to gerry's kids" I tell him. Ohh and the punk looks like he wants to talk shit, but his fat-ass mom starts yelling at him from the back to get his ass back there. "Fuckin Pathetic" is all I can think about this clan of more than likely inbred wellfare pumpers. Well its gonna be another tight connection at the transit center, may have to do some more of that anti zombie cardio in a second...

Northbound, tueday 5-4, bus 358

With a wellfare dependant couple jarring on tootsie pops and discussing eyelash bugers sitting rite behind me, the sound of tootsie pops being full-balled between the gums is becoming rather annoying. Now Chief cloudy eyes boards, and nearly bites it on the deck as he stumbles in a madogg 20/20 fueled alcoholic stupor, boy, whewww, this chief needs to jump in the river and wash off as the air quality on this coach has taken a turn towards the cat-piss nasty side. And what's the deal with all the stinky nasty homeless wearing team gear anyways. Does like the Mariners clothe the homeless? you think MLB wouldn't want this respectable bunch representing the sport, but no... every year I see Seattle's down n out sportin the new gear, what's up with that?

Tuesday Evening Commute

Well with the masturbating parrot far behind, I have arrived at my 358 stop for the northbound trip, and down in the bushes below this stop I observe, the average seattle destitute bracing himself with a shopping cart as he shits in the bushes, what next will todays run bring? Ha Ha Ha Ha.... the bum shitter just toppled over into his steaming pile of crud, now he gets up and starts cussing at what appears to be his woman who I didn't notice earlier as she was hunkered down in the green area. "Well good for them I think... maybe, just maybe... he'll march his shitty ass to a local swimming pool and pony up the 75 cents for a shower" ahh.. that's just wishfull thinking. And we'll take this show onboard the 358 as the bus is here.

Earlier today in the Ballard Industrial District...

Earlier while on my lunch break I witnessed a... bum.. facing a brick wall, standing there yanking his wang with the fury of a thousand spaniards running from the bulls, it was a shocking display of shamelessness! The only dignity this deviant had was to be turned away from the oncoming traffic on Leary Way, I supposed he thought that was enough privacy to get the job done...

Monday, May 3, 2010

at the transit center

With the 358 drivers constant jabbering and honking and bitching at cars the whole way, we lost a few minutes, so I watch my connecting bus pull out a heart beat before we arrived.. So with a thirty minute wait, I think I'll just swing into the Taco Joint and have a drink, thus avoiding numerous limp-dick panhandlers and the general strife off todays soceity. Until tommorrow then, have a nice evening all.

Crispy Creme report

I swear, this dude who just got on with a crispy creme box is Screech's twin, gots the hair, nose n everything and he's carrying a man purse, ohh n a whalgreens schmock on and he's getting off at work, well atleast he's working. So far on this run I'v counted eight people passed out in bus shelters, the aftermath of the wellfare check I surmise. And it appears some industrious drunks tried to heist the Brown Bear from the carwash on 165th again as one of its legs is all contorted out and missing paint. The poor Brown Bear gets messed with on average of once a month, fuckin kids don't got nothing better to do these days I guess, Ohh shit our driver is screaming at cars and jabbering away with this old battleaxe in front, and our driver is explaining this is why most drivers are alcoholics, well I guess that's a good excuse as any for us riders to use, 'most our metro drivers are alcoholics and there jabbering drives us to drink too....

at 105th and HoRoRa N.

This dude gets on who is like covered in shit, like he rolled around in it or something, the nastyness continues...

continuing north through the north Seattle's crack cocaine district

Passing through 85th, we see several ho's workin the Jack in the Box and a street bum begging for beer money with the well over-used 'why lie its for beer' sign. And in the vicinity of Oak Tree Village a rather large destitute is sleeping it off in a makeshift cardboard lean-two...

358 northbound, monday 5-3

WOW, all the women onboard this coach have a horrified look on their faces, like they seen something terrible, could the deviants been up to their usual shenanigans earlier? With the quickness that the good worker is exiting the bus today, one can only speculate as to what happened. Ohh shit, the 358 ahead of this one is pulled over with SPD hauling a bum into the back of there squad car, supervisors are there and several other squad cars, looks like them bums gone done, done it again, well we continue on without further theatrics...

5-3 Evening Commute. The Destitute Express

Onboard the weed mobile which is bus 44, at the moment. Always a heavy smell of the chronic onboard this bus in the afternoon, its actually quite soothing. And the vagrants are in their glories today, sportin some new osh- koshes and bags of 40's for sure. And up at the 358 stop we got this youth sporting a distinctive 'less than zero' look, with his sport jacket topped out with a gangsterish chromed out LA Dodgers cap, he's getting on the right bus for sure. And here we go!


With Wellfare checks being deposited over the weekend and cashed today, the nexts few days are expected to be rife with celabratory deviants and shopping cart mama's. And due to warm temperatures, a general panhandler resurgence is also expected. All dive bars and local laundromats should be avoided as the 'newly flush with cash' vagrants will be out in force. The new beer tax is not expected to alter the street deviants pattern of heavy binge drinking during the first week of the month. So the standard rash of bus shelter pukings, public urinations and alley bowel movements is to be expected. By this weekend the standard pattern of aggresive panhandling will continue as most wellfare monies will have been spent on cheap booze and cheap motels. Your afternoon bus commute is expected to be punctuated with the random bum confusion from alcoholic blackout and a strong element of trailer trash mom's taking there brood shopping at local K-marts n Value Villages. And finally, BEWARE of the Horny Deviant who has the habit of exposing himself at bus stops when on experiencing drunken tremors and visions of snakes. So ride with vigilance, mace, pepper spray, and other forms of personal defence should be easily accesible when riding the bus under these conditions. Ride Safe

general strife onboard bus 44

I see the rico suave of punk rock red hired latino's is onboard this bus today, and the standard load of degenerates going to the DSHS office to get paid by us taxpayers. Well welcome to another week america

here we go again...

The toothless skank 'just shut up sheri' has boarded the bus and she's jabberin and grinding her gums away a few rows forward. Now a meth dude is giviing her shit, tellin her to shut up... she's getting belligerant, regular civilian commuters are all moving to the other ends of the bus, she's starts bitching"where's everyone going r u to good to sit by me..." hell ya I say to that! And the jabbering continues, now its like this, shels like this to one of the meth heads "fuck no! I ain't givin you no blow job for 50 cents" he's like "that was for all of us" ohh shit, know she's goin to the front and bitchin to the driver about it, I only got two more stops to go........ and bam... I'm off that crack whores bus

Soutbound, 358

And, a rowdy crew of methadoners have boarded in the Shoreline district, there talking about goin to the beach today, ohh this makes since as last Saturday was wellfare check day, grounds for an EMERGENCY COMMUTER ALERT. Ahh shit, the CARB just missed the bus! It would have been good to interview him today for the intelligence that can always be gained from a cruiser of his nature. And here at 130th N. We have 4 wheelchairs lifting onboard, this makes the suits onboard nervous and some cry for the back door to wait for the next bus.

Bums moving in on 205th street Starbucks

With a gaggle of parked shopping carts loaded with general bum necessities parked in front, the bums are laying claim to this coffee shop in force.... Upon boarding bus 358 southbound, the passengers are eminating a general odor of rancid funkiness, in this situation one should pray that the heat isn't jacked all the way up, or the methane content to the air would be at risk of combustion, fortunatly that is not the case today.

Mondadayy morning daylight edition

As the days get longer, the morning commute can be xpected to be punctuated with increasing numbers of destitutes who are in a generally foul mood after being a-woken early by hungry baby birds chirping for breakfast, the bridge or underpass dweller will be in extra aggresive mode as early daylight signals 'bummertime' considered peak season for panhandling.