Afternoon Commuter Advisory Bulletin

With Hail falling earlier today, numerous tents collapsed at tent city, your afternoon is expected to be packed with the fallen, who are just trying to get dry and warm up, your coaches air quality will be flavored with a distinct soggy dogg odor. As on all fridays... it is suggested that the working commuter bail from work early and take the most direct path to 'happy hour'. Routes 28, 77, and all coaches traveling through the tunnel have been overrun with schizophrenic drunk people-due to an early release from king county jail. Can-opener Carl, celebrating an early release just in time for the cash windfall that is Mariners season, is on a heroic binge. He was seen stumbling on the docks after boozing it up under the viaduct this morning, carrying a new sign for his corner on Occidental Ave, he proceeded to order a round of drinks at Azteca and cheered his good fortune to be out of the Klink just in time to go back to work panhandling baseball fans. On Sunday this blog will issue a special report on negotiating the slum-fest it is to travel to the ballpark. Cheers to everyone who works! And remember to tune in tomorrow for a special report from the BUM SUMMIT!